hey…here’s a wild idea…..maybe…..humour made to be offensive isn’t funny and is probably the cheapest least creative form of humour ever and actually contributes negatively to the mindset of the watchers…….just a thought……lol…
What men don’t understand is that women are FIERCELY PROTECTIVE of underage girls because we remember when we were young and some adult man made us uncomfortable or manipulated us or was inappropriate with us and we were powerless.
i’ve been angry about this for my entire life
so i go to a private school where tuition costs more than most people make in a year and lemme tell you, rich kids are so unaware that they’re rich it’s hilarious and frightening at the same time
I go to a private school too and a while back I was complaining about how I was never home alone and a guy legitimately said “just buy a hotel room”
Rich kids are scary
They really are.
Man successfully grabs remote without knocking over cheetos, yet remains displeased.
(original gif [x])
This man lives in a world where everybody is in an infomercial. They all screw up simple daily tasks, but not him. Because of his incapability to be incapable, this man is bullied, ridiculed, and shunned by everyone around him. Yearning to fit in, he desperately tries to be clumsy but fails to cause a huge mess.
Until one day when he was confronted by a mugger. The mugger tried to stab him but continuously missed until they stabbed themself. He found his true calling and became a hero, stopping criminals everywhere by using their own clumsiness against them.
This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.
CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:
- do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”
- go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury
- if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.
- look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”
- the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.
- works every time
"sad little bug" is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING
I remember my sister did the ‘are we gonna have to cut it off?’ to her daughter once and my niece looked her dead in the eye and said ‘Get the saw, mother.’
Me and my brother-in-law lost it.
Hahahaha oh my god that’s perfect!